Bitch

This year I have decided that I’m not going to hear the word Bitch in a negative way. There’s always been the problem that if a woman isn’t being agreeable, sensitive and quiet that they’re a bitch. We’re shown this in TV, film, books and all over the media. As soon as celebrities speak out about topics that aren’t deemed ‘feminine’ enough they’re slapped with the label of a bitch. This runs the same in our smaller societies of schools, work and just when you’re in a bar trying to have a good night with your friends. Its used as an insult, a put down, a way to force you back into this box of uncertainty by calling you something that you are scared to be called.

So, I decided that I don’t give a shit whether someone is going to call me a bitch or not. I have the face of a 13 year old, as told by the security guard who asked if I should be in school when I was just trying to do my job. I’m introverted and get labeled as the shy, quiet one almost immediately after meeting people. And these factors mean that when I act differently to how I’m expected from how I look, I’m labelled a bitch. Plus, most of these actions are not negative qualities at all, if anything, they help me to be a better person.

Being Assertive

During high school I used to be a bit of a pushover. Since then I’ve grown a back bone and I am now way more assertive than I once was. Even though sometimes my self esteem does get in the way of my confidence I know that if I don’t want to do something, I will say no. If I do want to do something, I will put myself up for the opportunity. Since working, I’ve had to be assertive in order to be involved in projects that I want to be involved with. Especially as I work in male dominated industry.

Being assertive means being up front about what you want to do, and what you need to do but also considering others as well to get your tasks done as a collective team. Being passive and waiting for things to happen reduces my opportunities and negatively impacts my work. So no, I’m not going to stop being assertive just because people think it makes me look bitchy.

Having a voice

I feel like some people still assume that women are timid little creatures that spend all their time cooking and cleaning. And I am not okay with doing that. If I have an opinion, I will voice it. I will get involved with discussions as and when I have a point to say.

I see this all the time on social media, and not just for me. If a women tweets an opinion or sometimes even facts, there’s so many people responding negatively. Calling them bitches or telling them they don’t have the right to voice their opinion, or calling them other names. Very rarely is this the same case if it was a man.

Being Ambitious

I consistently work to my fullest potential and I work damn hard to make sure that others know I can get shit done. I’ve always had very high ambitions for what I want. I wanted those A’s at school, I wanted a good degree and I wanted that work experience and a placement to give me better prospects when I graduate. So I went out and got them.

Telling people my aspirations, and then showing them that I have the ambition and drive to reach for them is strangely seen as a negative to some people.

Having independence

I’m perfectly happy being alone. I live on my own, I’m introverted and I enjoy my own company as it helps re-energise me. My circle of friends is often small yet close knit but I rarely need to depend on anyone except myself to get things done. Because of this, people assume that I’m a bitch because who doesn’t want to hang out with 30 drunk girls in a overbearing club? Or because I’ve always been up front that I do not want to live with anyone in the next year of uni. I’ve even been called a bitch because (even though I’m only 21) I don’t want children and it’s not something I’m planning on in any immediate future.

Resting Bitch Face

I mean, this one is slightly obvious in the name. But I literally cannot help that my face looks like this. So many people who I’ve became friends with have said they didn’t like me at first because I looked like a bitch. This is ridiculous because my face does not naturally fall into a smile, no one’s does right?