Uptown Oracle Reads… The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

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The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
Mark Manson

For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. “F**k positivity,” Mark Manson says. “Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it.” In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—”not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.” Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.

I’m not normally one to read much non-fiction let alone from the self-help section so this book was outside my comfort zone. It was a gift from a friend and it sat on my shelf for longer than I would like to admit. However, reading this book came along at just the right time, back in January, as I was super stressed out about pretty much anything you can think of. So I really needed to just stop ‘giving a fuck’ about some of the little things and this was my gentle reminder.

A lot of people assume any self-help book is going to be emotional and ‘mushy’. However Manson brings an air of humour which creates a lot of relief to the read. The language is extremely to the point, and really pulls you up on your (maybe not great) behaviour. Many of his points do make sense, however as with any self-help book I would suggest taking away key points to adapt to your life. This definitely is not a ‘how-to’ guide for you to follow.

The main message isn’t to ‘not give a fuck’ about everything, but to ‘not give a fuck’ about the little things that don’t actually matter. Which I think we’ve all been guilt of before? A main factor is making sure your values are aligned with what will allow you to be happy. Measuring yourself against something out of your control will most likely end in disaster.

Manson’s storytelling of some great real examples really pushes his point home. These people did or didn’t care too much, which led them to a certain place in their lives. These stories are well written to give context but without reading like a textbook.

Without reading Manson’s other work I can’t comment on whether this next point is the author, or the narrative choice he’s used in this book. However, his bluntness does often come across as smug and arrogant, which I think resonates with my inherent British-ness and did work for me. However, I do believe that this book wouldn’t meet everyone’s needs, especially if they didn’t like the author’s style.

My three key takeaways that I took from this read were:

• Never try to be anything other than what you are.
• Happiness is a work in progress, and not a destination
• Don’t just sit there – do something!

Positives

• Good points
• Easy-going and humorous style

Negatives

• Author tone not for everyone

Are there any other self-help style books you would recommend?